dreams and desires

I have an unspoken prayer- desire in my heart right now that I can not let go of.
I am typing in tears right now because I did something stupid. I am getting upset for no reason because I just couldn't wait. I know that God has me in the palm of His hand and frankly at this very moment there is only one set of footprints.

Why? Why do I do this to myself? Why do I allow satan to get his claws in me and rip me from the inside out? I hate when I believe him when he tells me I am inadequate, this is impossible, God doesn't want it AND MOST OF ALL telling me that I am in control of it!

I am not in control ! GOD IS IN CONTROL and He will deliver me this desire or He will take this burning desire away. Maybe now, maybe later but I know He will.

I will post more on this later, I believe I need to put it out there and I will, just not right now.

I know I am in your prayers and I thank you.

Love,
V.